The Death of Genuine Friendship?

An article that every Millennial or GenZ should read. Or not read since it’s been proven the lack of attention span or inability to find worth in words; that’s not attached to a picture engulfed in a multitude of “likes”.

On this beautiful Sabbath day, I pondered the prosperity of my relationships and the lack of genuine friendships. No, this not an article blaming social media for societal excuses. This is putting the blame right on you! For using social media as an excuse. All of us have witnessed the culprit, the one who robs joy, kills relationships and even real life people. A virtual reality is still one that we have to face, which society has turned away from. Passivism is at an all time high because our choices in society are at all time high. With entities and platforms fighting for our attention, has left us blind to the people standing right in front of us.

What is it about making people feel important that we loathe so much?

Now of course under certain circumstances we will downright exhibit stalker traits towards celebrities. You lack the attention span to socialize with more than one person, so your boyfriend/girlfriend is the only one entitled to your immediate attention. Notable mentions for parents, giving undivided attention to their children. But they don’t necessarily fit in this topic with a discrepancy on age as you won’t be socializing with them as you would an adult.

Cardi B has a line in her song Be Careful “Liking pictures not returning text”. Same with Drake in Star67 “Text from a centerfold, I ain’t reply. Let her know I read it though”. What is it about making people feel important that we loathe so much? Or is it the attraction of being ones priority that we like to exhibit power? Negativity has taken the leading role in American culture while Positivity watches the show from the bench backstage. In this picture perfect, idolizing, highlight reel on Instagram world. Have we actually tricked ourself into thinking human beings are capable of achieving perfection? I mean, celebrities only respond when a troll points out their imperfections. Platforms like The Shade Room have an ongoing segment for celebrities responding to negative comments called “Clap back” and TMZ wouldn’t exist if the breaking news pertained to topics we already knew about.

passive-aggressive

For us common folk who have much smaller platforms our attacks are more personal and don’t yield us any revenue. In fact it does just the opposite and often times we have seen that our attacks aren’t limited to individual retaliation; others pay for our harshness or passive aggressive behavior. Formal communication is a thing of the past and in my opinion and personal experience has been the death of genuine relationships. A social appreciation to find worth in words are a scarcity, unless of course its in 140 characters or less.

Intentional avoidance is not the answer, sure in some cases where the relationship is toxic and you already addressed with the particular person what you didn’t like about their actions. In some cases there is no need to engage in conversation because of their actions, such as huge blow up or constant nagging, complaining, negativity.

It’s whole heartedly amusing until it’s you. We live in a society where we can only connect through pain and not happiness.

When terror strikes, we realize the ones we love and the kindness in strangers through the connection of tragedy.

Yes, its true. We have seen the extreme cases of forced isolation with mass shootings, opioid crisis and suicide. Which I don’t want to dive to deeply into but I can assure those people felt gravely alone and felt like they had no other options or people to turn to.

So as a relatively sane person and a person who is able to understand various personality types, even if I don’t agree. Here are 7 tips for recognizing and knowing when you have a genuine friendship.

1. You Are a Priority- If I have to hear ” I’ve just been really busy” one more time, I’ll be forced to lose it.  No one is ever busy it’s all about priorities. Make a note to yourself that this person isn’t mature enough to tell you what’s wrong and would rather ignore you instead of communicate resignation.

2. Future Plans– You are actually invited to events, not just told about the persons great experience. “Yea that sounds like fun, I wasn’t doing anything I would’ve enjoyed it as well.” This person doesn’t want you around or you’re simply not in their planning.

3. No Comparison- If someone is constantly speaking in “VS terms” they are not a friend. But everyone thinks you’re pretty, I don’t need to wear makeup like you do or you’re always dressed. Oprah once said “You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life” just move on.

4. They Address Flaws- This is a good trait, someone always stating “oh nothing is wrong” means that something is wrong. A real friend wants to get past the hardship and that can’t happen if they never address it or don’t feel the relationship is worth preserving.

5. Celebrated Success Goals- You have a great idea on wanting to take a risk in starting a new business. This person tells you every possible negative to deter you or shows no excitement for your new journey. “Your enemy is never a stranger” cut ties and keep it trucking.

6. Company In Hard Times- So you may be a bit negative this month, you had a break up, finances are in a difficult time or you’re dealing with family drama. This person wants nothing to do with letting you vent and avoids contact when you need it the most. There’s nothing worth than someone you care about leaving you at hard times. “Don’t judge my life by the chapter you walked in on”. We all have rough patches, but don’t be willing to accept less than what you’re worth.

7. PRN Contact- Oh this is my favorite “I have friends that I talk to twice a year and we still are very good friends”. Yeah yeah, miss me with that B.S. You mean to tell me, that you ignore their text, calls, don’t show up to invites or value their company when in their presence and you are still good friends? I didn’t think so. But let this be communicated as wanting as little or no contact with you. If you stop texting first, you’ll never hear from them again.

Do you guys have any other noteworthy tips? Traits you love about your friendships or what’s important to you? Please share them in the comments down below.

Quote of the day

Later Dreamers 💜

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5 thoughts on “The Death of Genuine Friendship?

  1. Preach! This is so true. I had a friend who would only contact me when I’m doing well. She’d have plenty of time to tell me about her hard times but would barely make the effort to contact me when I was going through things.

    Liked by 1 person

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